domingo, 14 de dezembro de 2008

_ a n i v e r s á r i o s

Tenho tido grandes conflitos comigo mesma ultimamente. Nos últimos dias, passei a odiar os aniversários.
Não quero mais ter que comemorar mais um ano de vida a cada ano. Eu estou com preguiça de envelhecer.
Ando cansada das coisas, das pessoas... Tudo parece sempre tão igual. É claro que as coisas mudam, os anos passam, a gente cresce. Mas é sempre do mesmo jeito. A vida virou rotina.
Quando nascemos, nossa vida já está pré-determinada. E nem se preocuparam em nos consultar.
Estudamos, estudamos e estudamos para estudar um pouco mais depois. E então somos atirados num tal de mercado de trabalho para, obviamente, trabalhar. Trabalhamos, trabalhamos. Podemos até aposentar, mas continuamos trabalhando. Para juntar dinheiro, sempre ele. E então, quando já estamos velhos e cansados de tanto esforço, quando, teoricamente, poderíamos aproveitar tudo o que lutamos tanto para conseguir, morremos.
Ah, eu não quero isso para mim.
Estou a menos de um mês de mais um aniversário.
Só de pensar quase choro. De raiva. Não sei como ainda há quem faça contagem regressiva no nick do msn esperando tal data. No momento não consigo imaginar algo mais narcisista. Nem mais retardado.
É fim de ano, e toda aquela alucinógena aura de magia e felicidade, sempre forjadas por uma mídia muito competente, já chegou às televisões e revistas do país inteiro. Sério, paguei um pau para o cara que inventou o "2000inove" do Bradesco. Vender sonhos e esperança é fácil. A realidade mostrada no jornal é esquecida em segundos no intervalo comercial.
O ano muda e, por mais que todo mundo ache tudo muito lindo, está tudo sempre igual.
Claro que esperança sempre há. Mas estou pagando pra ver o dia em que tudo isso vai mudar.
Não pense que é pessimismo de minha parte não. Eu só estou cansada. E com preguiça.
Para o ano que está chegando eu só quero um pouco de justiça e sensatez. Se não for pedir muito, menos leviandade também.
Não tenho mais pressa em viver. E eu não queria mais aniversários.
Agora eles me dão ânsia.

~* Hoje, by the way, é aniversário de uma grande amiga. Todavia, como passei a achar estranho isso de desejar "Parabéns" (afinal, parabéns porquê? por ter sobrevivido a esse mundo mais 365 dias? isso até eu faço, ora pitombas!), resolvi deixar aqui apenas um humilde conselho, já dito anteriormente, mas que teimo em repetir: não se apresse em viver.

E sigo apenas respirando.

22 comentários:

Thiago Martins. disse...

asudhuahda!

Lindo post...

Feliz niver Gabiii!

Rebeca M. disse...

oi babi :P
sei que eu sumo e reapareço... mas enfim, juro que é a última vez HUAHU

teu blog é foda, adoro todos os textos daqui, e tô com saudades de você.

beijossss ;*

Anônimo disse...

haha, eu também não queria fazer aniversário e não fiz contagem regressiva pra ele.

Não me apressarei ^^

Amooo vocêê. Saudadees, siistáá!

Marcelo Mayer disse...

aniversário é sempre constrangedor, né? nada mais imbecil que sobrar velinhas. rs

obrigado pela viista em meu blog.

muito bom o espaço de vcs

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